[Seriously, holy crap Doumeki look at this essay! You came to him at the right time.]
Thank you, mon ami! We're quite happy. Now, for your questions! What you're feeling is absolutely and completely normal and natural, I promise you. Both the way you feel about Yashiro and how you're noticing particular traits in men that you find attractive. It's all part of you discovering that part of yourself!
I think the best thing for you to do would be to stop overthinking it. Easier said than done, I know, but you're doing yourself a disservice by ruminating.
[ He's got SO many feelings about Yashiro. Especially after their Dimensions X sex. But Sycamour's words really do help -- Doumeki's not the brightest guy, and Yashiro has... bad opinions sometimes. ]
That is reassuring I will try
[ He actually thinks about things a lot, he just keeps quiet most of the time.... ]
Give it your best shot! I think you'll find everything a bit easier once you stop putting up mental barriers and just let the feelings flow through you.
[Yashiro? Bad opinions? Surely you jest??
...
...anyway. Heh, 'boyfriend'. Such a cute way to refer to him...]
I think I do, in terms of Lysandre. I'm still far more attracted to women than I am to men, but...hm! I don't know, it's different with him. I've always found him objectively handsome, but I've come to the realisation that I was talking myself out of the attraction I felt - probably because I didn't think I was interested in men! That's why I think you should stop putting up resistance. It only does more harm than good.
That is easier said than done But I understand the sentiment
[ Letting feelings flow sounds hard. He's probably never going to be able to do that. ]
I know that everything about the boss is beautiful He is a special case I have never been captivated by someone before
But since having sex with other men I have noticed that certain builds or features are attractive to me Or perhaps they are just things that remind me of the boss? That is why I am unsure
Oh, it's definitely easier said than done. Which is why you need to be kind to yourself! Don't expect to be able to shut off the uncertainty immediately. The main thing is to remember that what you're feeling is natural, and more common than you think. Everyone has their own time-frame of coming to terms with these sorts of things.
[Pro tip; don't wait until the object of your affections is dead. Not speaking from experience, or anything...]
Those questions are something only you can answer for yourself, Doumeki. But tell me; would it make much of a difference if you were attracted to those men because they remind you of Yashiro, or because you genuinely found those features appealing?
[ If they were in person, he would nod right about now. At least the object of his affections is very much alive and actually cares about him, which is wild. ]
It would not make a difference I only intend to be with the boss Everyone else is just sex for the sake of it But I have been able to enjoy it more, recently
Well, that sounds like a good thing to me! It's one of those things where the more you experiment, the more you'll learn about yourself and your preferences - and what a perfect place to do it! We're all learning new things about ourselves, no?
[HE'S STILL ROOTING FOR YOU, DOUMEKI]
Although it's quite interesting, actually, that you bring up wondering whether or not the traits you find attractive are because of that one man whom you want most of all. I might have to think about it a bit myself!
[ It's ok, the only time Yashiro would spill about his feelings would be if he shot Doumeki and sent him away, so this is fine, actually.
Doumeki, however, is learning a little bit. He's perhaps too dumb to keep his mouth shut. ]
I agree
[ It's a sexy adventure for sure. ]
Yes The boss has been kind to me And even kind to himself, I think He would not easily admit it But I am very happy with the way things are right now
[ He won't give deets unless asked, but he's just so happy... of course, after all this, Yashiro is going to tie him up and make him watch as someone else fucks him, so...well, that's Yashiro for you. He caught feelings so he's trying to bury them. ]
[OH THIS IS SO FANTASTIC.....you can't see him, Doumeki, but he is DELIGHTED-]
That is such good news! I know that it's quite hard for Yashiro to express his feelings, so you must be very excited, Doumeki! I am so happy for you both!
[....at least. At least he doesn't need to know about the 'tying up and making him watch' thing, guys.......as your unofficial therapist he does not recommend that..............]
You two have been spending some quality time together, then?
[There is going to be a lot to unpack here, isn't there...........]
Yashiro seems like the sort of person who might struggle with these sorts of feelings, so don't feel bad if you don't make huge strides with him. Just take it slow. That goes for your feelings about your sexuality as well!
Either way, don't be afraid to reach out to me, Doumeki. I'm always happy to chat.
[ Can't unpack stuff if you convince yourself there's no problem and black out for most of it! Doumeki is gonna be fine..... ]
I am aware, his feelings are very complex I will take it slow The only person I am truly interested in is the boss So it does not matter ultimately if I find others attractive
Thank you again for being patient with me I do not often speak of these things with other people
[NOOOOOO Doumeki that's not a healthy coping mechanism! You two, honestly...........]
It's not a problem at all. Besides, look at what you just said! You've managed to come to a positive conclusion by yourself. No real help needed. Sometimes you just need a sounding board!
But I'm flattered that you consider me a safe person to chat about this with. I've quite enjoyed getting to know both you and Yashiro, I have to say.
it's probably good that Sycamore can't read what's in these brackets because WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE SHOT YOU-]
I certainly like to think so. Are you enjoying being away from all the busy-ness of your home world? It must be nice to have a break, and spend some quality time with him.
[You know, without all that....Yakuza stuff you two do! Whatever all that is!
[ It's fine, it hasn't happened in canon yet so they're gonna be fine. It's not going to lead to Yashiro pretending to forget Doumeki and them not seeing each other for 4 years or anything. ]
It is nice being somewhere where people are not actively trying to kill the boss The other captains do not like him There was an attempt on his life before we arrived here
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no subject
Thank you, mon ami! We're quite happy. Now, for your questions! What you're feeling is absolutely and completely normal and natural, I promise you. Both the way you feel about Yashiro and how you're noticing particular traits in men that you find attractive. It's all part of you discovering that part of yourself!
I think the best thing for you to do would be to stop overthinking it. Easier said than done, I know, but you're doing yourself a disservice by ruminating.
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That is reassuring
I will try
[ He actually thinks about things a lot, he just keeps quiet most of the time.... ]
Do you feel similarly?
About your boyfriend?
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[Yashiro? Bad opinions? Surely you jest??
...
...anyway. Heh, 'boyfriend'. Such a cute way to refer to him...]
I think I do, in terms of Lysandre. I'm still far more attracted to women than I am to men, but...hm! I don't know, it's different with him. I've always found him objectively handsome, but I've come to the realisation that I was talking myself out of the attraction I felt - probably because I didn't think I was interested in men! That's why I think you should stop putting up resistance. It only does more harm than good.
no subject
But I understand the sentiment
[ Letting feelings flow sounds hard. He's probably never going to be able to do that. ]
I know that everything about the boss is beautiful
He is a special case
I have never been captivated by someone before
But since having sex with other men
I have noticed that certain builds or features are attractive to me
Or perhaps they are just things that remind me of the boss?
That is why I am unsure
no subject
[Pro tip; don't wait until the object of your affections is dead. Not speaking from experience, or anything...]
Those questions are something only you can answer for yourself, Doumeki. But tell me; would it make much of a difference if you were attracted to those men because they remind you of Yashiro, or because you genuinely found those features appealing?
no subject
[ If they were in person, he would nod right about now. At least the object of his affections is very much alive and actually cares about him, which is wild. ]
It would not make a difference
I only intend to be with the boss
Everyone else is just sex for the sake of it
But I have been able to enjoy it more, recently
no subject
[HE'S STILL ROOTING FOR YOU, DOUMEKI]
Although it's quite interesting, actually, that you bring up wondering whether or not the traits you find attractive are because of that one man whom you want most of all. I might have to think about it a bit myself!
no subject
I have learned many things about the boss as well
It's nice
[ :) he got to tell the boss he loves him....... it was a good time. ]
I hope it helps you
Knowing how I feel about the boss helps me
[ It's crazy what you can do when you're not in denial. Someone ought to tell Yashiro that. ]
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Thank you! I like to think of all this as quite the adventure. A very sexy adventure!
[Please do not let him use the term 'sexy adventure' ever again-]
You and Yashiro have been spending some quality time together lately, then?
[.....
..........deets]
no subject
Doumeki, however, is learning a little bit. He's perhaps too dumb to keep his mouth shut. ]
I agree
[ It's a sexy adventure for sure. ]
Yes
The boss has been kind to me
And even kind to himself, I think
He would not easily admit it
But I am very happy with the way things are right now
[ He won't give deets unless asked, but he's just so happy... of course, after all this, Yashiro is going to tie him up and make him watch as someone else fucks him, so...well, that's Yashiro for you. He caught feelings so he's trying to bury them. ]
no subject
That is such good news! I know that it's quite hard for Yashiro to express his feelings, so you must be very excited, Doumeki! I am so happy for you both!
[....at least. At least he doesn't need to know about the 'tying up and making him watch' thing, guys.......as your unofficial therapist he does not recommend that..............]
You two have been spending some quality time together, then?
no subject
Yes
It's difficult for him
I was very happy to have the boss's trust
Please do not tell him I told you
[ Thanks, Sycamore.... that's good advice. ]
We have
The boss has even agreed to have sex with me outside of the our respective moonblessings
[ :) what could be better than this. ]
no subject
[And it definitely is! This is all rather personal stuff.]
It sounds like your relationship has developed in a really positive direction! I'm so happy for you, Doumeki.
[ABSOLUTELY NOTHING COULD WRONG, FROM THIS POINT!]
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[ Definitely nothing could go wrong not three days after this! ]
I want to keep being there for the boss
But it is good to know his feelings as well
no subject
Yashiro seems like the sort of person who might struggle with these sorts of feelings, so don't feel bad if you don't make huge strides with him. Just take it slow. That goes for your feelings about your sexuality as well!
Either way, don't be afraid to reach out to me, Doumeki. I'm always happy to chat.
no subject
I am aware, his feelings are very complex
I will take it slow
The only person I am truly interested in is the boss
So it does not matter ultimately if I find others attractive
Thank you again for being patient with me
I do not often speak of these things with other people
no subject
It's not a problem at all. Besides, look at what you just said! You've managed to come to a positive conclusion by yourself. No real help needed. Sometimes you just need a sounding board!
But I'm flattered that you consider me a safe person to chat about this with. I've quite enjoyed getting to know both you and Yashiro, I have to say.
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It is still appreciated
I am glad to hear that
I know the boss can be a lot
But he is a good person
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it's probably good that Sycamore can't read what's in these brackets because WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE SHOT YOU-]
I certainly like to think so. Are you enjoying being away from all the busy-ness of your home world? It must be nice to have a break, and spend some quality time with him.
[You know, without all that....Yakuza stuff you two do! Whatever all that is!
(it's most cheating in mahjong, yeah)]
no subject
It is nice being somewhere where people are not actively trying to kill the boss
The other captains do not like him
There was an attempt on his life before we arrived here
no subject
That certainly must make a difference!
[The world of the yakuza sounds....horrifying. To put it mildly.]
Your world sounds extremely complicated. All the more reason it must be nice to be alone here! Far more time to talk, etc, I'd imagine.
no subject
We do not talk very much
The boss is an important man
His way of thinking is usually beyond me
The last time we spoke was about what occurred in that strange world the foxes created