I'm not letting you near me when I'm in the depths of Iris, Lysandre. I will do something I will regret, and then I will hate myself for it.
You can come into my apartment briefly, check I'm alright - which I will be - and then you have to leave. Those are the only terms I'm interested in entertaining.
Then it's fortunate that I'm not asking you to like it, I suppose.
We can discuss Sanguis if you'd prefer it for the time being. But I do want you to know that I'm going to continue to insist on this once we're done with that.
I am not one of your employees, Lysandre - just because you want me to do something, it doesn't mean I have to.
[There is an absolutely fantastic irony in the person under Sanguis remaining calm, while the Iris gets agitated, and were he not the Iris in question he would probably find it fascinating. As it stands, he's backing away.
Perhaps this visit was a mistake after all...]
Why can't you just respect my wishes and leave this topic alone? The answers aren't...bad, per say, they're just...they make me horribly uncomfortable and I promise you, they will make you even more uncomfortable. We don't gain anything by bringing this up.
And yet I get no say in the matter once you decide you want something, and my wishes on the subject can go ignored simply because you've decided you're coming over and you aren't leaving until I let you in.
You're more than welcome to get out, if that's how it's going to be. I've fulfilled my end of the agreement. Don't plan on returning after Sanguis has passed, as I've no interest in dealings that are that one-sided.
[Sycamore is frozen, momentarily, a shocked expression on his face; for an instant, the thought of fleeing is tempting, so very tempting, but he knows Lysandre well enough to be very aware he's a man of his word.
So. That crestfallen expression quickly gives way to frustration.]
Fine. Fine! If this is how you're going to be, I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything!
[He's pacing, now, fingers buried in his hair and not looking like they're coming out any time soon.]
You heard what I said earlier, correct? Iris magnifies any sort of affection you have for someone you care about. I was brought here just weeks after everything had happened with Team Flare, and while I was happy on the surface I just buried everything, all the misery and betrayal and confusion, all the questions I thought I'd never get answers to, and I know that isn't healthy but it worked for me! It was working perfectly, actually, until Iris came along and all of a sudden everything about you that I'd worked so hard to hide just came....surging up, and I couldn't stop it. I'd just sit in my apartment and think about you and all the good times we had, everything we shared, and it was this horrible...I don't know, rollercoaster of emotion because I care about you so much and you were gone and Iris makes you so....needy for someone you care about.
[That final sentence is punctuated with a groan, and Sycamore finally takes his hands out of his hair to place them on his face. He's still doing anything possible to look everywhere but at Lysandre.]
Do you know how exhausting it is? To feel that need, that overpowering, horrible desire to give out your affection, to be generous with it? I've heard Iris' complain about it when they're in committed relationships with others here, but when the person you always think about is completely unreachable it's...
[Right, his hands are completely covering his face, now.]
Look, I...I didn't want to tell you because I'm trying so hard not to make this about me, because I know I do that all the time and things are so much worse for you, without even bringing the moonblessings into it, and I want to do everything I can to make you happy and I...
[...you have a couch, no? He's going to find that couch and just...collapse onto it, head down and hands linked together, resting on the back of his neck.]
[He'll take all that in, not moving from where he's standing even after Sycamore has let himself sink down onto the couch; after a long moment, however, he'll move to join him, sitting next to him for a moment before reaching out and laying a hand on his shoulder lightly, almost as though he's expecting to be shrugged off.]
...You can talk to me about this. About...Iris, or about what I've done, or about what you've been going through. I do want to hear about it. Because you're...my friend, and because you're important to me.
I still don't think less of you for this, incidentally. I'm not certain why you thought I would.
[That whole tirade was hopelessly embarrassing and he is already trying to pretend it didn't happen, so Sycamore will be keeping his head down as Lysandre approaches, even as he feels him sitting on the couch and his hand coming to rest on his shoulder.
After his friend falls silent, however, he'll reach out and place his hand on top. The leather of his gloves feels...pleasing, and it suddenly hits him that this is the first time they've really made contact with one another since Lysandre arrived. His hand will promptly be squeezed, and Sycamore lifts his head, a small, tired smile on his face.
But he's smiling, at least.]
I'd still rather talk about Sanguis. Or, you know, anything other than what I just said.
[A soft laugh follows that comment (oh, he cracks himself up), but he's still not releasing that hand any time soon.]
But I'm...glad to hear you say that, even if I'm surprised you don't think I'm an idiot. I just can't believe we're owed another visit to the goats so soon.
[Really, it's been...what, a day? Maybe two? Ugh.]
You're not an idiot - I'm fairly sure nothing you say could make me believe that. Though, knowing this... I'm not going to make you handle Iris on your own if it can be helped.
[Seriously, that sounds hideous.]
As I said, if you would prefer to discuss Sanguis, we can. Although I don't know what else I have to offer you other than what I've already told you. It's just...unpleasant, for now.
[...and also likely why he's being Like This, in hindsight, but eh.]
[Yeah, in hindsight, if Sycamore looks properly at that last exchange - and how quickly Lysandre jumped to wanting to kick him out - Sanguis' influence becomes fairly obvious. How insidious; the lack of transformations and Lysandre's generally calm demeanour made him completely drop his guard. Even after spending the trip here reminding himself not to bite at anything nasty his friend said! Failed step one, thoroughly.]
I still maintain that it will be hideously awkward, but if you want to come over, I'll...allow it.
[He'll also shift his hand away from Lysandre's, should he be growing tired of his touch.]
I just want you to agree to leave if I'm being a complete and total embarrassment, Lysandre. I meant it when I said that Iris makes me really emotional and I'd prefer not to sob all over you.
If that's genuinely what you want, then I can. ...Especially since that's decidedly less alarming than "I'm going to do something I regret and then I'll hate myself," you know.
[JUST. JUST SAYING.]
If I had told you anything like that, you wouldn't have allowed it either.
[He does, he promises. Even if the compulsion to change the subject to something lighthearted or funny is still overwhelming. Do we really have to talk about this...]
I've never been good with...
[-let him. wave his hands in the air as he tries to find the words-]
...this sort of thing. [#nailedit] I hate it. It's why Iris really gets under my skin and I don't like to talk about it, much less show it. I'm not saying I don't appreciate the offer, I do, I just...
[....will...groan again and bury his face in his hands, half because he hates this topic, and half because he knows that now you're definitely not going to let him drop it.]
[He doesn't pull away from the contact just yet; he seems fine leaving his hand where it is.]
...It's going to be fine, Augustine. I simply see no reason to leave you to be upset like that if I can do anything about it. You know how I tend to be.
[...well. He doesn't want to make it Weird, but Lysandre is free to leave his hand there as long as he likes. The contact is nice, and not just because of the chroma he can feel forming.]
I do appreciate it, despite how I'm acting.
[He's smiling that tired smile again. There's even some eye contact, this time! Incredible.]
I can't say I'm sure if you'll be able to do anything about it, but I suppose I'm willing to try. My transformations tend to look good, at least?
[He promises he's not trying to change the subject, but that's....sort of comforting. If he has to be an emotional disaster, at least the 'rabbit' ears look cute.]
[Oh, that will make him laugh; to say this is an improvement over the past while is...something of an understatement.]
Well, now I can't wait to hear your opinion. Maybe allowing you to visit me isn't such a bad idea after all.
[He's still not thrilled by the prospect, but...well. Most of the emotional breakdowns had been because Lysandre was dead, and now that he's here...perhaps he might actually enjoy Iris? Hmm. There's some research potential there....]
I do feel a bit cheated, though. Where are your cute ears or horns? Doesn't seem fair, really.
There isn't much of it at the moment, and it doesn't seem too intrusive, but there is something.
[He'll push one of his sleeves up at that, revealing what appear to be scales of some sort? They're a pearly-looking orange and white; sort of pretty in their own way, except for the part where they're, you know, growing on a person.]
I imagine that's going to progress, though it's in reasonably small patches for now.
[Ooh! Even more of a distraction from the previous topics! This visit is getting better and better.]
Ah, I see! How fascinating! They're quite beautiful, aren't they? I mean, knowing you, I shouldn't be surprised, but still....
[He'll gently run a finger along them, taking in all the detail. This really is interesting - most Sanguis tended to report 'dog' features, so seeing scales....hm!]
I wonder if they're 'fish' - think Magikarp - or 'snake' - think Ekans - scales. Either way, I think you're rather lucky. Nice and unobtrusive, and easily hidden!
I don't have any argument with them, at least. They do have the basic courtesy to look presentable, and for the time being they aren't affecting my face.
[...okay, he doesn't mean to laugh again, but that. that is such a 'you' comment-]
I'm sure Sanguis wouldn't have the audacity to touch your lovely face, Lysandre. It's good to hear you've got your priorities in order.
[Honestly, the levity is...rather nice. This is a much better topic of discussion than how the moonblessings ravage their emotions! In fact, we should just never talk about that one again. Parfait!]
Magikarp does make sense, though. I'm assuming you won't be 'Splash'-ing water at me any time soon, though?
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Why are you so interested in this....? I thought we were supposed to be focusing on Sanguis.
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I'm not letting you near me when I'm in the depths of Iris, Lysandre. I will do something I will regret, and then I will hate myself for it.
You can come into my apartment briefly, check I'm alright - which I will be - and then you have to leave. Those are the only terms I'm interested in entertaining.
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Do you understand why I'm insisting?
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You wouldn't be insisting if I hadn't given you reason to be concerned.
[Oh how he's played himself.]
So yes, I understand. It doesn't mean I have to like it.
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We can discuss Sanguis if you'd prefer it for the time being. But I do want you to know that I'm going to continue to insist on this once we're done with that.
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[There is an absolutely fantastic irony in the person under Sanguis remaining calm, while the Iris gets agitated, and were he not the Iris in question he would probably find it fascinating. As it stands, he's backing away.
Perhaps this visit was a mistake after all...]
Why can't you just respect my wishes and leave this topic alone? The answers aren't...bad, per say, they're just...they make me horribly uncomfortable and I promise you, they will make you even more uncomfortable. We don't gain anything by bringing this up.
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You're more than welcome to get out, if that's how it's going to be. I've fulfilled my end of the agreement. Don't plan on returning after Sanguis has passed, as I've no interest in dealings that are that one-sided.
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So. That crestfallen expression quickly gives way to frustration.]
Fine. Fine! If this is how you're going to be, I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything!
[He's pacing, now, fingers buried in his hair and not looking like they're coming out any time soon.]
You heard what I said earlier, correct? Iris magnifies any sort of affection you have for someone you care about. I was brought here just weeks after everything had happened with Team Flare, and while I was happy on the surface I just buried everything, all the misery and betrayal and confusion, all the questions I thought I'd never get answers to, and I know that isn't healthy but it worked for me! It was working perfectly, actually, until Iris came along and all of a sudden everything about you that I'd worked so hard to hide just came....surging up, and I couldn't stop it. I'd just sit in my apartment and think about you and all the good times we had, everything we shared, and it was this horrible...I don't know, rollercoaster of emotion because I care about you so much and you were gone and Iris makes you so....needy for someone you care about.
[That final sentence is punctuated with a groan, and Sycamore finally takes his hands out of his hair to place them on his face. He's still doing anything possible to look everywhere but at Lysandre.]
Do you know how exhausting it is? To feel that need, that overpowering, horrible desire to give out your affection, to be generous with it? I've heard Iris' complain about it when they're in committed relationships with others here, but when the person you always think about is completely unreachable it's...
[It's....]
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[Right, his hands are completely covering his face, now.]
Look, I...I didn't want to tell you because I'm trying so hard not to make this about me, because I know I do that all the time and things are so much worse for you, without even bringing the moonblessings into it, and I want to do everything I can to make you happy and I...
[...you have a couch, no? He's going to find that couch and just...collapse onto it, head down and hands linked together, resting on the back of his neck.]
...I am not coping well with...Iris.
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...You can talk to me about this. About...Iris, or about what I've done, or about what you've been going through. I do want to hear about it. Because you're...my friend, and because you're important to me.
I still don't think less of you for this, incidentally. I'm not certain why you thought I would.
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After his friend falls silent, however, he'll reach out and place his hand on top. The leather of his gloves feels...pleasing, and it suddenly hits him that this is the first time they've really made contact with one another since Lysandre arrived. His hand will promptly be squeezed, and Sycamore lifts his head, a small, tired smile on his face.
But he's smiling, at least.]
I'd still rather talk about Sanguis. Or, you know, anything other than what I just said.
[A soft laugh follows that comment (oh, he cracks himself up), but he's still not releasing that hand any time soon.]
But I'm...glad to hear you say that, even if I'm surprised you don't think I'm an idiot. I just can't believe we're owed another visit to the goats so soon.
[Really, it's been...what, a day? Maybe two? Ugh.]
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[Seriously, that sounds hideous.]
As I said, if you would prefer to discuss Sanguis, we can. Although I don't know what else I have to offer you other than what I've already told you. It's just...unpleasant, for now.
[...and also likely why he's being Like This, in hindsight, but eh.]
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I still maintain that it will be hideously awkward, but if you want to come over, I'll...allow it.
[He'll also shift his hand away from Lysandre's, should he be growing tired of his touch.]
I just want you to agree to leave if I'm being a complete and total embarrassment, Lysandre. I meant it when I said that Iris makes me really emotional and I'd prefer not to sob all over you.
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[JUST. JUST SAYING.]
If I had told you anything like that, you wouldn't have allowed it either.
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[He does, he promises. Even if the compulsion to change the subject to something lighthearted or funny is still overwhelming. Do we really have to talk about this...]
I've never been good with...
[-let him. wave his hands in the air as he tries to find the words-]
...this sort of thing. [#nailedit] I hate it. It's why Iris really gets under my skin and I don't like to talk about it, much less show it. I'm not saying I don't appreciate the offer, I do, I just...
[....will...groan again and bury his face in his hands, half because he hates this topic, and half because he knows that now you're definitely not going to let him drop it.]
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...It's going to be fine, Augustine. I simply see no reason to leave you to be upset like that if I can do anything about it. You know how I tend to be.
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I do appreciate it, despite how I'm acting.
[He's smiling that tired smile again. There's even some eye contact, this time! Incredible.]
I can't say I'm sure if you'll be able to do anything about it, but I suppose I'm willing to try. My transformations tend to look good, at least?
[He promises he's not trying to change the subject, but that's....sort of comforting. If he has to be an emotional disaster, at least the 'rabbit' ears look cute.]
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[The subject change is fine for now, honestly; it seems to relax him a bit at least, which is an improvement over the past while.]
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Well, now I can't wait to hear your opinion. Maybe allowing you to visit me isn't such a bad idea after all.
[He's still not thrilled by the prospect, but...well. Most of the emotional breakdowns had been because Lysandre was dead, and now that he's here...perhaps he might actually enjoy Iris? Hmm. There's some research potential there....]
I do feel a bit cheated, though. Where are your cute ears or horns? Doesn't seem fair, really.
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There isn't much of it at the moment, and it doesn't seem too intrusive, but there is something.
[He'll push one of his sleeves up at that, revealing what appear to be scales of some sort? They're a pearly-looking orange and white; sort of pretty in their own way, except for the part where they're, you know, growing on a person.]
I imagine that's going to progress, though it's in reasonably small patches for now.
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Ah, I see! How fascinating! They're quite beautiful, aren't they? I mean, knowing you, I shouldn't be surprised, but still....
[He'll gently run a finger along them, taking in all the detail. This really is interesting - most Sanguis tended to report 'dog' features, so seeing scales....hm!]
I wonder if they're 'fish' - think Magikarp - or 'snake' - think Ekans - scales. Either way, I think you're rather lucky. Nice and unobtrusive, and easily hidden!
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[...He raised a Gyarados, he would know...]
I don't have any argument with them, at least. They do have the basic courtesy to look presentable, and for the time being they aren't affecting my face.
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I'm sure Sanguis wouldn't have the audacity to touch your lovely face, Lysandre. It's good to hear you've got your priorities in order.
[Honestly, the levity is...rather nice. This is a much better topic of discussion than how the moonblessings ravage their emotions! In fact, we should just never talk about that one again. Parfait!]
Magikarp does make sense, though. I'm assuming you won't be 'Splash'-ing water at me any time soon, though?
[yes, he knows how hilarious he is...]
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[He hates his life.]
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